Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Junior Professed Sharing
8:04 AM | 
Posted by
daniel
This month we have a reflection from our three junior professed Spiritans…
Junior Professed Sharing
By Dennis Casanes, C.S.Sp., Aying Gavino, C.S.Sp., Alfre Liwagon, C.S.Sp.
After a year of Postulancy and a year of Novitiate formation and after happily taking our vows, we are now Spiritan Religious. For now we live our lives as religious in the Spiritan House of Studies, Manila
Metro Manila is a huge city and is extremely different, more diverse and complicated compared to the place where we come from – Mindanao . Though our house (Spiritan House of Studies) is very quiet, cool and comfortable, Metro Manila is generally crowded, noisy and polluted. Since this is where God has put us now, even if it is more challenging than being in Mindanao , we have to adapt and get used to this place. Only one of us found it manageable from the beginning, the rest were culturally shocked. There is so much that we did not know about Manila . When he took the train for the first time, Emboy, was scared and sweating inside. The condensed population, the tall buildings, the six lanes highways, some flyovers and underground highways, are some of the things we experienced for the first time. We are foreigners in our own country. For the new guys, they found it nice to have someone older than them in the place, showing them around and introducing them to some places and friends.
Language is also one of the challenges we had to face. We are all born and raised in Mindanao ; we speak Cebuano eloquently. No one of us speaks Tagalog at home. When we were in elementary and high school we sometimes used it in our Tagalog Course, but after that we only heard it on TV. Now Tagalog is a must, it is our language of friendship and it is more helpful especially if we want to be understood in our apostolate, when riding the jeepneys, buying in the market, and the like. Many times we have been embarrassed because of our hard Cebuano accent when we speak Tagalog. Local people sometimes tease us. We also notice that in language comes culture, even in jokes, what Tagalog people consider funny usually for us Cebuanos does not make sense.
Spiritan House of Studies
This house is a perfect design if we are to aim for internationality. In terms of academic affairs, there are many international schools nearby, most, if not all, are in easy access and conducive for learning. So far we have welcomed confreres from Vietnam and Taiwan who studied English at Miriam College
Every now and then we invite our classmates, friends and other religious for group study, to play table tennis and sometimes watch TV and enjoy everyone’s company in friendship and camaraderie. Having good relationships with other young religious, we believe, is healthy and can strengthen our life as religious.
Loyola School of Theology, where we study, is more international. Students in this school are from all over the world. In one way or another, experiences like living with different nationalities help us enrich ourselves through sharing with other peoples from other countries and cultures.
Community life
Like all the Spiritans in the world we are also called to live out our Spiritan calling in a community, an essential element in our way of life as young religious. In the Spiritan House of Studies, Manila, we do not only live as a community but also as a true family. Even though we are so busy at school, we do not forget to give value to community life. Each one of us in the community has to take part in the responsibility of taking care of the things around the house. Like any poor family, we do not have house helpers. We help each other in running and keeping the house clean. By ourselves, we do the dishes, we sweep and mop the floor, we pay bills and we cultivate and beautify our garden and the like. We create a home that is clean and orderly, a home that is livable and comfortable. It is always a complement when our classmates remark that they like to visit and hang out with the Spiritans in their house because it is very homey and welcoming. During breakfast we have little discussions about our plans for the week and discuss if there are necessary things to do for the community.
We take turns going to the market. We learn how to budget, how to choose proper goods that are fresh, nutritious, delicious yet affordable. We believe that a religious who took the vow of poverty should know how much a kilo of rice costs; that a religious should be able to notice that a dozen eggs is in one store 50 cents cheaper than in the other store. The person who goes to the market is also the cook for the week. It is his opportunity to render a concrete service to the community. It is also an indirect way of expressing to the community what his favorite foods are.
Every Thursday is our community night. We bond through playing games, doing community projects, helping somebody’s homework, taking a walk or going to Mc Donalds for 25peso ice cream sundaes.
In the Spiritan House of Studies we are formed how to be a responsible adults. We do not just do what we are told to do...we take initiative. We are trained to develop our giftedness and potentials and that all dimensions of life are well tapped and balanced.
In our community, being a priest or a brother is less important than being a true religious family where one is concerned for everyone’s welfare. Thanks to our director Fr. Dan, our older brother.
Prayer Life
For us, Spiritual life is our core, the center and most essential part of our life as religious. It is the spring from which we take our strength to unreservedly respond to our Spiritan calling, to be completely available before God and before others. In a concrete way, we develop our Spiritual life through daily Eucharist, morning and evening prayer, and rosary. During the Eucharist we take turns sharing reflections after the Gospel. Each of us has our own spiritual director and confessor. Once a month we have one day of silent recollection. Every time the Spiritans celebrate a special feast like that of the founders; we also take time make the celebration meaningful.
Academic Life
We study at Loyola School of Theology, a Jesuit and Filipino institution and community of learning, dedicated to formative theological education and research within the Catholic tradition. At school we are enriched by excellent professors who teach every subject matter with mastery. The way of teaching gives us sufficient information. Our Professors are not only Filipinos but also foreigners. Each class is a mixture of religious men and women, diocesan seminarians and priests from all over the globe. We all believe that this ambiance inside the classroom is very interesting and enriching. Sometimes we don’t always agree with each other; we differ in our point of view depending on our cultural background.
The three of us had difficulty adjusting and placing our mind in the academic world, at least at the beginning. After few years of not being involved seriously in academic training, our first semester is like a rehabilitation process. Academics at Loyola School of Theology have a very high standard and demand we need to study really well. Some of us spend at least four to five hours a day, just for reading and understanding the subject matter and trying to figure how to apply it pastorally.
Because we believe this is where God is calling us now, we have to strive hard, not only so that we can give justice to the tuition fee, but also to grow in wisdom and understanding, and be leaned Spiritan religious. Eventually learning became enjoyable. we think any Spiritan religious should see the extreme value in continually honing and expanding his mind.
Pastoral Life
One of our commitments as Spiritan religious is to those oppressed and most disadvantaged as a group or individual; we are called to be defenders of the weak and the little ones. We live out this commitment through our apostolate in Guannela’s Center, a home that takes care of our brothers who are challenged physically and mentally. We stay there overnight; Saturday afternoon til Sunday. Every first weekend of the month is Dennis’ turn to assist in the center. Emboy goes every second week and Aying every third week. Every last week end of the month the three of us go together. We go there to take care of the people there who range in age from 9 to 50 years old, to bathe them, to feed them, to pray with them and bring them to church for mass. We find this apostolate very interesting and challenging, and so we continue doing it. One of us said that in this apostolate also he realized what it means to experience the essence of being with the poor and to the most abandoned. He said that, “for me personally, to be with this kind of people is not so easy. It is because I have to go down to their level so that I can sympathize with them. When I go there, I forget my image of who I am because I know they don’t bother about it. All they need is our care and love. That’s all.” So far our experiences has been very challenging but definitely enriching.
We are Juniors!
There are so many Congregations in Manila. In LST itself there are almost a hundred. We always find it interesting and enriching to get to know other “juniors” from other congregations. We are also active in a group called Juniors – Seminarians Forum (JSF). It is a gathering of all the temporary professed religious and seminarians, men and women, all over Metro Manila, and those from the provinces are also welcomed. As of this year, one of us Spritans works as part of the core group. The last time we had our gathering, there were about seven hundred of us from more than a hundred congregations. It was very meaningful for many of us. One of us said, “I can’t just imagine how God calls each one of us. The moment I mingled with them, I said to myself, ‘Wow, Lord, this is great. I can feel that we are not alone in the journey of religious life. My faith was awakened as I saw the number of religious flocking together in joy. I deeply realized how mysterious the call of God.” Another one said, “Personally such activities help me a clarifying God’s call. The more I get to know other congregations, their spirituality and charism, the more also I appreciate, love and embrace my own.” We gather. We share our charism and spirituality. We share our joys, struggles and doubts as young religious, we encourage one another and we get involved in social concerns, build community and work as a team. We also listen to our elders by inviting speakers whom we believe can guide us in our journey.
As we continue our journey day by day, we are very humbled to take our place in Spiritan history as the first Filipino Spiritans, doing our little part in the building of a new foundation and even a new program here in Manila. None of us can say “this is how it’s always been done”, so we listen to the Holy Spirit and our brothers and sisters in the Spiritan community...and we hear the voice of God.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Adventures in Manila.
2:51 AM |
Posted by
daniel
I’ll be the first to admit that all of us here in the Spiritan House of Studies, Manila, have that sort of bachelor approach to housekeeping--basically clean, but not fanatics about it. So you can imagine my surprise when I opened one of the kitchen cupboards and found what looked like sand all over the place! “How did we get muddy sand in the cupboard?” I wondered aloud as I called for the guys to join me. Then, in the midst of all that muddy sand, I saw what looked like pieces of rice running back and forth…termites!! We had been invaded by termites! As we opened cupboard after cupboard, we found they had moved into a number of shelves and were obviously enjoying themselves immensely. So I grabbed the phone and call the termite-folks. Believe me, everyone here in Metro Manila has them on speed-dial! Termites are part of daily life and people just take them in stride. The next morning witnessed the massacre of the visiting termites, but we had no time to mourn, being too busy cleaning up their mess. I was exhausted since I hadn’t slept well the night before, wondering if our newly acquired house was going to collapse around us, having been an all-you-can-eat buffet for the local pests. But thank God, after massive spraying, poking and inspecting, we were declared termite-free, complete with a year’s warranty! But everyday I find myself checking the cupboards, just in case…oh me of little faith!
As if that little adventure into nature wasn’t enough, a few days later I got a text message from Dennis while at still at school. “Dre, we’ve just killed two big snakes in the house…I hope they’re not all over the place.” I didn’t know if I should rush home or just make a reservation at the Hilton Hotel. In fact, they weren’t IN the house, but right outside: two big, long non-poisonous garden snakes. I guess the violent rains had disturbed their homes. Or maybe they were coming to visit the termites? Who knows? Later when I was on the phone telling a friend about our snakes, I saw the hugest hornet ever fly into the room. Making plenty of room for this 747-like creature, I was horrified to see it fly into a clump of mud stuck on the bottom of the jalousie windows!! (Well, I told you our housekeeping isn’t always what it could be!!). It was building it’s home in our home…but there just isn’t enough room for all of us, so summoning up our courage, we knocked the nest, sprayed it wildly with Raid, stomped on it like enraged flamenco dancers from Seville. What a zoo!! And I thought that moving to the big city we’d lose touch with nature!! It’s been like living on the Discovery Channel this last month!! While the Filipinos all tsk-ed and commiserated with our dilemma of finding the snakes, all our Chinese friends immediately congratulated us and told us how very delicious snake soup is!! Still, I’d rather be the one eating the snake than vice-versa!!
Fr. Cyr, our young Congolese confrere, finished his English course and returned to Taiwan to begin his Chinese studies. He made amazing progress in English in such a short time, and if he does the same in Chinese, he’ll be preaching up a storm in Taiwan in no time! Fr. Arinze, our Nigerian confrere studying at Ateneo, joined all of us in our farewell party at the local pizzeria. We already miss Fr. Cyr’s hearty laugh!
Remember how I subtly dropped a hint in an earlier blog page about needing a bicycle for the house? (Okay, so I actually just begged, but you can’t blame me for trying!). Well, nothing happened from the blog, but when I asked some local friends about getting inexpensive bikes, they looked at each other and said they would give us their two bikes for the community!! With the two beautiful bikes in the back of our friends’ pickup truck, we stopped to buy helmets on the way home. Were Dennis, Emboy and Aying happy when we arrived at the door!! What a wonderful surprise and once again we are so touched and blessed by the kindness and generosity of people around us! The bikes have really made things so much easier for the guys; they zip around the neighborhood now in a flash.
We’ve also been busy in our gardens, both the vegetable garden in back and the front garden as well. We’ve planted some flowers in front, a luxury that we’ll enjoy since breakfast and lunch are almost always enjoyed at the outside table. We even entertain friends there, too, since it is naturally cooled by the towering trees and comfortable cross-breeze. Because of the carport roof, even the rain doesn’t disturb us there. I have to admit that some of the plants seem to have a bit of a problem adjusting to the front soil, but we’re patient and busy pruning. These days, God takes care of the watering!
While much of the world has just now begun school, we’re getting ready for the semester to end! Less than a month to go, so you can imagine all the papers, reports, and preparation for final exams. For all of us, students and teacher, it’s a very busy time. Maybe that’s why we especially enjoyed last week’s silent morning recollection, something we aim to have at least once a month. It’s important for us as a Spiritan family to sit quietly with the Lord and each other…and LISTEN!
So as you can see, we’re all doing well, thank God. The guys’ presence at the center for handicapped youth is such a blessing, both for them and for the people there. Emboy has also helped with a few retreats. My classes continue to be a joy and a constant invitation to grow in wisdom and knowledge. I’m always so happy to see our living room filled with young religious, the classmates of Dennis, Emboy and Aying, who come to study with them, or who come just to relax with them. One of their classmates told me he always enjoys coming here because it “feels like home”. That’s the best possible compliment! And our wonderful friends from China, Vietnam, Korea as well as the local crowd, keep us in good spirits and well-fed! Every time Sr. Hai-Xia whips up a delicacy from her hometown in China, she stops by with enough for all of us to enjoy, too!!
September 19th is the 24th Anniversary of my ordination to priesthood. What a blessing, what an adventure with the Lord! Thanks for being a part of it all…Oran, Rome, Dubai, Pittsburgh, Iligan, Metro Manila. I can see all your faces…and all your smiles.
Don’t forget you have a standing invitation to come visit. Oh, just one thing…if one of the snakes in the garden tells you to eat from one of our fruit trees, I wouldn’t, if I were you…
May God bless us all!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Don’t be afraid, just go
4:10 PM |
Posted by
daniel
All of us here at the Spiritan House of Studies in Manila have a close relationship with many of the Chinese priests, brothers and sisters who are in Manila studying theology for future ministry in their homeland. As China officially opens more and more to God, the Spirit is blowing gently in so many ways. We are very blessed to know such inspirational people as these young Chinese who are helping the Church rise again after years of suffering and persecution. Chinese Christians are here because they are helped by the knowledge and wisdom of the rest of the Church, and we, the rest of the Church, are helped by the wisdom, courage and dedication of the Church of China. Here below is a sharing of Sister Huang, a delightful young Sister with the voice of an angel. Enjoy and be blessed!!
God wants everyone to be with him and live in His love. Indeed, God is calling us all the time, through the people and things around us: our family, church, society, nature. And he mobilizes and utilizes a variety of environments to cultivate our vocation. So, each of our lives is a journey of a response to God's call. When we respond to Him with all our lives; to do His will with all our hearts, with all our minds, then our lives will become more meaningful, more valuable, and more brilliant, more abundant. As Abraham, Jeremiah, Samuel, Mama Mary, the Apostles responded, so I, too! Today, when I analyze my own vocation, I have also found that God’s calling came to me in my childhood, and He took care of me, gave me a lovely family and lovely community. He is making me grow in my religious life, He is making my vocation story become so special and beautiful!
The Discovery Process of my Vocation
“ Here I am , Lord , for you called me.” (1 Sam 3:5)
I was born a in a Catholic family; my parents gave me the good moral education of a Catholic. Similar to Samuel’s mother, my mother is a devout and pious woman. When I was a little child, my mother taught me about God and Jesus, and taught me how to pray. When I was teenager, my mother always said to me: “The vocation that was chosen by God for you to do God’s will, will be filled with grace and many blessings”. And she also asked me: “When you have grown up, will you be a nun to serve God, like your aunt (who is a nun)? All right?” But I never answered. I disliked following the way of life of my aunt. “That will be very lonely”, I thought. But I have to admit that I respected my aunt so much because she was really a good person and different.
In 1984, when I was 18 years old, my aunt who was a nun died. Many people of our church said: “It is now that our church has just been restored and is in need of people like her and of her service, but now she is dead. And in this new generation there are no young ones who will be willing to choose her way of life and service…” I heard that, and my heart was touched.
During the following year's Spring Festival (Chinese New Year), I met two of my relatives who were working in the city— Zhong Shan of Guangdong. Two of them shared with me what they had experienced of the outside world. “Time and time again, the Bishop, who is very old, asked us, ‘Won’t you dedicate yourselves to God and to spreading the Gospel? You see, we are getting old and it is difficult to walk, and our church needs to have young workers. . . ” They said this with laugher, the other girls who heard also thought it funny. But I kept silent, because this “word” in my mind became a special PICTURE and it made me felt a little sad. After about two months, the PICTURE often came out my mind with the VOICE---“Do you dedicate yourself to God and devote your life to spreading the Gospel?” Again and again it happened. Since then, the VOICE began to disturb my thoughts, and gradually occupied the whole of my heart. For a while I thought that VOICE was threatening the life of my original vision, so I tried to avoid it, but it only became stronger and stronger! And so it even frightened me!
After few months, I went to see my uncle who is a priest, and told him what had happened to me and what I had experienced. Then he taught me about God’s call by saying: “Don’t be afraid! Maybe God is calling you. Now try to focus on this VOICE, and try to answer and say to God: “Here I am, Lord, for you called me.” (1 Sam 3:5) Then I tried to do what my uncle had said. A few weeks later, I realized that it was, in fact, the calling of God. Then I felt something very heavy, very painful!
The Experience of the Rich Young Man.
“Jesus said to the rich young man: ‘Go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor,… then come, follow me.’ When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving”. (Mk 10:21-22). It was difficult for this rich young man to give up his own wealth. For me, I was not so rich, so I had no “wealth” to give up, however like the rich young man, I too “was shocked” and wanted to “go away grieving”, because I had already had the vision of my life, and had a very determined pursuit and clear life goals.
I was preparing with great enthusiasm for the future to become a good wife, a good mother! I knew I could be that, I believed I would have a nice family life. And at that time I was operating a small shop, and many elders of my relatives and neighbors believed that I had the talent and qualifications to be successful in business. So when I clearly knew that God was calling me and knew that meant I would have to give up my existing, safe, normal and happy life style, there was a really hard struggle in my inner life. At first I decided to ignore this calling and I tried to change it, even making a special prayer to ask God: “Do not call me to be a nun and I will be a devout Catholic like my mother and I will help my parish every way I can.” But after six months, I found my inner life was very disturbed, as if I were burying a bomb. So then I had to say “Yes” to God. I was very strange, when I decided to respond to God, my heart felt a deep peace, although it still felt heavy and painful!
Go and See , Then , I remained with him on that Day! (John 1: 39)
“The next day John was there again with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he said ‘Behold, the Lamb of God.’ The two disciples heard what he said and followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following him and he said to them, ‘What are you looking for?’ They said to him, ‘Rabbi, where are you staying?’ He said to them, ‘Come, and you will see.’ (John1:36-39)
At that time I was still anxious because I no idea about congregations of sisters (Where? What? How? ) and I had never been away from my family. But my uncle said to me: “Don’t be afraid, just go. God will show you how to go!” So, like the two disciples of John the Baptist, in a religious environment still mingled with a strong political atmosphere, with the approval of my parents, I followed the guidance of my uncle and went to Guangzhou, (300 kilometers from home) to look for the superior of the Chinese Sisters of the Immaculate Conception. She was 81years old and had lived history, which was what my uncle was referring to when he told me: “She is a true nun. She will teach you how to do well and how to be a good religious.” On September 8, 1987 I met her and “remained with her that day” (John1: 39)—Sep.8, 1987. And I became one of the first group of twelve members after my congregation reopened in the newly found religious freedom of China.
In the journey of my religious life I have encountered many challenges and temptations, but I was and I am still here! For the VOICE has again and again echoed in my heart, again and again called me to go back before the Lord, again and again helped me to overcome the difficulties. Today, when I once again look back my vocational process, I more clearly recognize that this vocation is indeed a great grace from God. It is like the experience of Isaiah: “The Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (Isa.43:1--3)
The Content of my Vocation
At that time in China, the policy of religious freedom had just been restored and although many churches had been reopened, there were not yet any formal congregations of sisters, just some scattered elderly nuns who had weathered the difficult times. In my congregation also, formation has been halted for 40 years (1947 - 1987). So at that time, our community consisted of an 81 year old superior, and a few sisters over 75 years old, and a decrepit building less than 200 square meters in size!! We had nothing, we were really poor! In this environment, we started the journey of our religious life.
At first, I was educated by my community (1987-1992), learning how to know God’s love and how to experience God’s love and learning the knowledge of basic theology and religious life. I especially learned the way of a truly spiritual life from Mama Mary, her prayer, her contemplation, her service, her chastity, her humility and her obedience. In the second phase (1993 to 1998), I was a formator in my community, and accompanied aspirants and novices. After that, I worked and taught in the catechumen center of my diocese (1999-2002), and later served my congregation as a superior for six years (2002-2008).
My Vocation is Mission! And my missionary content is very simple, it is to tell others ‘God is Love! God loves everyone!’ But I knew that I have no any knowledge for preaching or for explaining it as a Missionary, but I just tried to offer God my daily life and have attempted to do everything with God’s love and according to my congregation’s charism (that is do pastoral work, especially accompanying the people who walk on the journey of the religious life). Like Mama Mary, I just share the Good News with others, looking for what people need and I can do something. I pray with Mama Mary for people’s needs and for mission. So in my personal sense of the system, all of vocations are mission. For each Vocation, life itself is mission! So when I joined religious life, that mission became my lifestyle.
Therefore, missionaries should be able to live in God's love and should be able to love one another in their specific circumstances of life. It will let people see his good deeds and recognize that they are followers of Christ. Over time, this act of benevolence will guide people to know God and find him in Christianity. I strongly believe that even if I just do little things or do nothing, if I am being God’s love and love everyone, I also am on real mission!
Now I am studying in the Institute of Consecrated Life in Asia, and taking a course on Consecrated Life to prepare to walk well in the next journey of my vocation. Even though I am not sure what I will be sent to do next, I am sure that I will be in mission because mission is the basic form of my religious life, it is the content of my vocation. And then, mission also makes my religious life become meaningful and joyful!
I have been walking on the way of a religious vocation for twenty-two (22) years, and although there have been a lot of hardships, difficulties, temptations, struggles and mistakes, I always recall: “ The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pasture; He leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for God be with me; his rod and his staff—they comfort me.” (Ps 23: 1--4)
I have experienced and recognized what Jesus’ promised: “Truly I tell you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields, for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, who will not receive a hundredfold in this age, ---- with persecutions.” And I also strongly believe “In the age to come eternal life” will be true! (Mk: 10: 29—30) So, henceforth every day, I will be singing with all my heart and all my soul with Mama Mary, “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.” (Luke 1:46--48)
Don’t be afraid, just go!
By Sr. Huang Qujiao
By Sr. Huang Qujiao
God wants everyone to be with him and live in His love. Indeed, God is calling us all the time, through the people and things around us: our family, church, society, nature. And he mobilizes and utilizes a variety of environments to cultivate our vocation. So, each of our lives is a journey of a response to God's call. When we respond to Him with all our lives; to do His will with all our hearts, with all our minds, then our lives will become more meaningful, more valuable, and more brilliant, more abundant. As Abraham, Jeremiah, Samuel, Mama Mary, the Apostles responded, so I, too! Today, when I analyze my own vocation, I have also found that God’s calling came to me in my childhood, and He took care of me, gave me a lovely family and lovely community. He is making me grow in my religious life, He is making my vocation story become so special and beautiful!
The Discovery Process of my Vocation
“ Here I am , Lord , for you called me.” (1 Sam 3:5)
I was born a in a Catholic family; my parents gave me the good moral education of a Catholic. Similar to Samuel’s mother, my mother is a devout and pious woman. When I was a little child, my mother taught me about God and Jesus, and taught me how to pray. When I was teenager, my mother always said to me: “The vocation that was chosen by God for you to do God’s will, will be filled with grace and many blessings”. And she also asked me: “When you have grown up, will you be a nun to serve God, like your aunt (who is a nun)? All right?” But I never answered. I disliked following the way of life of my aunt. “That will be very lonely”, I thought. But I have to admit that I respected my aunt so much because she was really a good person and different.
In 1984, when I was 18 years old, my aunt who was a nun died. Many people of our church said: “It is now that our church has just been restored and is in need of people like her and of her service, but now she is dead. And in this new generation there are no young ones who will be willing to choose her way of life and service…” I heard that, and my heart was touched.
During the following year's Spring Festival (Chinese New Year), I met two of my relatives who were working in the city— Zhong Shan of Guangdong. Two of them shared with me what they had experienced of the outside world. “Time and time again, the Bishop, who is very old, asked us, ‘Won’t you dedicate yourselves to God and to spreading the Gospel? You see, we are getting old and it is difficult to walk, and our church needs to have young workers. . . ” They said this with laugher, the other girls who heard also thought it funny. But I kept silent, because this “word” in my mind became a special PICTURE and it made me felt a little sad. After about two months, the PICTURE often came out my mind with the VOICE---“Do you dedicate yourself to God and devote your life to spreading the Gospel?” Again and again it happened. Since then, the VOICE began to disturb my thoughts, and gradually occupied the whole of my heart. For a while I thought that VOICE was threatening the life of my original vision, so I tried to avoid it, but it only became stronger and stronger! And so it even frightened me!
After few months, I went to see my uncle who is a priest, and told him what had happened to me and what I had experienced. Then he taught me about God’s call by saying: “Don’t be afraid! Maybe God is calling you. Now try to focus on this VOICE, and try to answer and say to God: “Here I am, Lord, for you called me.” (1 Sam 3:5) Then I tried to do what my uncle had said. A few weeks later, I realized that it was, in fact, the calling of God. Then I felt something very heavy, very painful!
The Experience of the Rich Young Man.
“Jesus said to the rich young man: ‘Go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor,… then come, follow me.’ When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving”. (Mk 10:21-22). It was difficult for this rich young man to give up his own wealth. For me, I was not so rich, so I had no “wealth” to give up, however like the rich young man, I too “was shocked” and wanted to “go away grieving”, because I had already had the vision of my life, and had a very determined pursuit and clear life goals.
I was preparing with great enthusiasm for the future to become a good wife, a good mother! I knew I could be that, I believed I would have a nice family life. And at that time I was operating a small shop, and many elders of my relatives and neighbors believed that I had the talent and qualifications to be successful in business. So when I clearly knew that God was calling me and knew that meant I would have to give up my existing, safe, normal and happy life style, there was a really hard struggle in my inner life. At first I decided to ignore this calling and I tried to change it, even making a special prayer to ask God: “Do not call me to be a nun and I will be a devout Catholic like my mother and I will help my parish every way I can.” But after six months, I found my inner life was very disturbed, as if I were burying a bomb. So then I had to say “Yes” to God. I was very strange, when I decided to respond to God, my heart felt a deep peace, although it still felt heavy and painful!
Go and See , Then , I remained with him on that Day! (John 1: 39)
“The next day John was there again with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he said ‘Behold, the Lamb of God.’ The two disciples heard what he said and followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following him and he said to them, ‘What are you looking for?’ They said to him, ‘Rabbi, where are you staying?’ He said to them, ‘Come, and you will see.’ (John1:36-39)
At that time I was still anxious because I no idea about congregations of sisters (Where? What? How? ) and I had never been away from my family. But my uncle said to me: “Don’t be afraid, just go. God will show you how to go!” So, like the two disciples of John the Baptist, in a religious environment still mingled with a strong political atmosphere, with the approval of my parents, I followed the guidance of my uncle and went to Guangzhou, (300 kilometers from home) to look for the superior of the Chinese Sisters of the Immaculate Conception. She was 81years old and had lived history, which was what my uncle was referring to when he told me: “She is a true nun. She will teach you how to do well and how to be a good religious.” On September 8, 1987 I met her and “remained with her that day” (John1: 39)—Sep.8, 1987. And I became one of the first group of twelve members after my congregation reopened in the newly found religious freedom of China.
In the journey of my religious life I have encountered many challenges and temptations, but I was and I am still here! For the VOICE has again and again echoed in my heart, again and again called me to go back before the Lord, again and again helped me to overcome the difficulties. Today, when I once again look back my vocational process, I more clearly recognize that this vocation is indeed a great grace from God. It is like the experience of Isaiah: “The Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (Isa.43:1--3)
The Content of my Vocation
At that time in China, the policy of religious freedom had just been restored and although many churches had been reopened, there were not yet any formal congregations of sisters, just some scattered elderly nuns who had weathered the difficult times. In my congregation also, formation has been halted for 40 years (1947 - 1987). So at that time, our community consisted of an 81 year old superior, and a few sisters over 75 years old, and a decrepit building less than 200 square meters in size!! We had nothing, we were really poor! In this environment, we started the journey of our religious life.
At first, I was educated by my community (1987-1992), learning how to know God’s love and how to experience God’s love and learning the knowledge of basic theology and religious life. I especially learned the way of a truly spiritual life from Mama Mary, her prayer, her contemplation, her service, her chastity, her humility and her obedience. In the second phase (1993 to 1998), I was a formator in my community, and accompanied aspirants and novices. After that, I worked and taught in the catechumen center of my diocese (1999-2002), and later served my congregation as a superior for six years (2002-2008).
My Vocation is Mission! And my missionary content is very simple, it is to tell others ‘God is Love! God loves everyone!’ But I knew that I have no any knowledge for preaching or for explaining it as a Missionary, but I just tried to offer God my daily life and have attempted to do everything with God’s love and according to my congregation’s charism (that is do pastoral work, especially accompanying the people who walk on the journey of the religious life). Like Mama Mary, I just share the Good News with others, looking for what people need and I can do something. I pray with Mama Mary for people’s needs and for mission. So in my personal sense of the system, all of vocations are mission. For each Vocation, life itself is mission! So when I joined religious life, that mission became my lifestyle.
Therefore, missionaries should be able to live in God's love and should be able to love one another in their specific circumstances of life. It will let people see his good deeds and recognize that they are followers of Christ. Over time, this act of benevolence will guide people to know God and find him in Christianity. I strongly believe that even if I just do little things or do nothing, if I am being God’s love and love everyone, I also am on real mission!
Now I am studying in the Institute of Consecrated Life in Asia, and taking a course on Consecrated Life to prepare to walk well in the next journey of my vocation. Even though I am not sure what I will be sent to do next, I am sure that I will be in mission because mission is the basic form of my religious life, it is the content of my vocation. And then, mission also makes my religious life become meaningful and joyful!
I have been walking on the way of a religious vocation for twenty-two (22) years, and although there have been a lot of hardships, difficulties, temptations, struggles and mistakes, I always recall: “ The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pasture; He leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for God be with me; his rod and his staff—they comfort me.” (Ps 23: 1--4)
I have experienced and recognized what Jesus’ promised: “Truly I tell you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields, for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, who will not receive a hundredfold in this age, ---- with persecutions.” And I also strongly believe “In the age to come eternal life” will be true! (Mk: 10: 29—30) So, henceforth every day, I will be singing with all my heart and all my soul with Mama Mary, “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.” (Luke 1:46--48)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Visitors: One Welcomed and One Thrust Upon Us
1:47 AM |
Posted by
daniel
We’ve had a couple of first time visitors recently…Fr. Jean-Paul Hoch, C.S.Sp. the Superior General of the Spiritans, and Typhoon Caloy, the first typhoon of the year. Fr. Jean-Paul’s visit was certainly more enjoyable!
Fr. Jean-Paul was in Taiwan for an important general meeting of the Spiritans there, and so while in the “neighborhood” he dropped in on our communities in Vietnam and here, our new home in Metro Manila.
He arrived Monday, June 28th, with Fr. Cyr to meet the first Filipino Spiritans in history. And he brought news and blessings from the community all over the world. While he was here we shared, prayed, ate, celebrated. We were especially happy to welcome him into our new home, to show him Loyola School of Theology and introduce him to some of Dennis’, Emboy’s, and Aying’s professors and classmates. And we showed him the beauty of Ateneo de Manila University’s campus; introduced him to many of my colleagues in the Theology Department.
Not long after Fr. Jean-Paul left, Typhoon Caloy blew in. For months and months after we first moved into this house I had to call the roofers again and again to come and fix the leaks. They finally had to replace the whole outer roof!! And so now that we finally have a fine roof, Typhoon Caloy came along and threw two of the neighbors’ trees on it!!! Around 3:00am, while the whole city was placed on Storm Signal 2 of the typhoon, I thought a truck landed on the roof! I grabbed a flashlight and went out in the wild and furious wind and rain, only to see two trees had been blown over. While their bottoms were in the neighbors’ land, their tops were firmly planted on our roof!! Don’t ask me how, but the other guys slept soundly through what sounded like the Normandy Invasion. By then the electricity was already out all over the city, and we would remain without electricity for two more days. In the morning light we could see that trees ripped from their roots and signs torn from their posts littered the neighborhood. Some 68 people died in the storm, and some 90 are still unaccounted for. But the next morning, with typical Filipino resilience, people were out picking up the pieces and moving on to the new day. Our guys got on the roof with machetes and axes and made kindling of the fallen trees while I was the cheering section on the ground floor! All the schools were closed, so it gave us the day to clean up the evidence of Typhoon Caloy’s fury. It’s typhoon season, and another is already predicted to land within two weeks. I’m just hoping the trees stay where they are planted! And yesterday I bought two more emergency lanterns.
Fr. Jean-Paul has come, so has Typhoon Caloy. What about you?? Unlike the typhoons, you’re always welcomed!! We really enjoy visitors. We’re all doing well and keeping busy with classes. I’m still teaching Intro Theology Courses during the week, while being a student of Mandarin on Saturdays. In addition to their studies, Dennis, with the help of Emboy and Aying, harvested our mango trees and made over 125 jars of our delicious and now famous mango jam, most of which we managed to sell!! We even have some orders for Christmas!!
We’re trying to save up for Spiritan Basketball uniforms, and we want to get a couple of bikes for the house. Say, if you want, you can sponsor the uniforms and then we can put your company’s name on the back of the shirt so you can write it off as a business expense!! It’ll say “Spiritans” on the front, and something like “Eat at Joe’s” on the back!! So what do you think? Who wants to chip in?? (Hey, I’m from Brooklyn, you can’t blame me for trying!!)
May God continue to bless us all!! Know that you are in our prayers every day, as we always lift up to the Lord all our family and friends at daily Eucharist. Keep in touch! God bless!
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